To let go is to be able to renounce whatever is going on in our thoughts and emotions that interfere with who we are and what we want even though our belief system may refuse to accept it. It’s a way of being detached from the activities of the mind. Whenever we have an idea of how things are supposed to be or how we or others are supposed to be we’re attached.
Such attachments can hamper our spiritual life. When they dominate us, they tend to create disharmony in our lives. In essence, if a real life stalker were to go away but your thoughts and emotions were still attached to his existence it will not make a difference whether or not the stalker went away because your emotions will continue to hurt you as if he was there. However, if you keep those thoughts from dominating your mind, such emotions are harmless.
The first step in letting go is to acknowledge that we’re attached to an event, person, or thought and that they are part of a belief system that we may no longer need to accept. We tend to become attached to things that touch our lives. We cling to them, cherish them, and believe we’re nothing without them.
“If I lose her, I’ll die.” “If the situation doesn’t go my way, I’ll kill myself.”
When we require life to be as we expect, we suffer. Life can only be itself and doesn’t follow a script. We must understand that.
For this reason it’s important to learn to accept life as it is and to identify the attachments that dominate our feelings. Then we can study their true nature and discover they are impermanent and empty. With that awareness, we’ll be able to understand that as thoughts, they can be absent if we choose. If we see our attachments as thoughts, we can let go of them without effort.