July 13, 2013

When it Hurts to Live


Has anyone wondered how we would all be better off talking comfortably about clinical depression? Few understand how our world would be a much better place if we could walk up to our friends and family and say..."You know lately I have been down in the conundrums feeling very depressed." And the response to that would not be so unpredictable that the one hoping to hear an empathic response would choose instead to keep all in.

It is unfortunate that many do not seem to understand that a person that is feeling depressed is not really interested in their loved ones solving his or her problem. Those who feel depressed just want someone that will listen to them. They just want their loved ones to be aware that they are going through a tough time. For them a pad in the back or a hug, both of which do not require a single word, would go a long way.

Some of those that feel desponded and hopelessly depressed may make the decision to end their lives. Take for example Michael Bryan the son of entertainer Marie Osmond who decided to end his life and left a note to his best friend where he stated that he decided to end his life because he was feeling very unhappy and wanted to be at peace. Interestingly many of those who knew him were shocked to learn that he was having such a difficult time. Like others, who struggle with depression, he probably did not feel at ease talking about it to everyone he knew. Like Michael, many who feel desponded and hopelessly depressed would like to experience that sense of peace as well. Having the ability to talk about such feelings with everyone without facing the stigma associated with mental illness would go a long ways towards achieving that.

I myself endured what seemed like endless years of feeling worthless and desponded. I attempted to end my life once because I too wanted to achieve a sense of peace that continued to elude me with no end in sight. For years and years I felt like an island weathering devastating storms but in my case they were relentless storms of emotional pain that I had to face on my own because I did not feel comfortable talking about it with my loved ones. There were some people along the way that understood what I was going through and offered help. However, when you only find a very small number of people that can accept that about you, you begin to wonder what the future holds for you. Fortunately, for almost 20 years now I have experienced that sense of peace that eluded me. In my book "Clinical Depression and the Stalker Within" I describe how I managed to find my way out of the labyrinth that I lived in. I do not have all the answers. What worked for me may not work for others. However, if there is one person out there that decides to live to see another day because I made him or her realize that it is worth it, then I have done a good thing.