November 11, 2014
In my previous post I discussed how losing focus can make you unhappy. I had mentioned that sometimes your brain can get off track and you begin to feel depressed because you lose focus. However, although we may not know why our brain went off track, sometimes decisions that we make can get it off-track. Take for example choosing to accept and perform the role that your peers assign to you either because you want to make them happy or you don’t want to disappoint them. In essence, you put other people’s happiness ahead of yours and, as such, you will no doubt lose focus because now the focus is not on the goals that you should set for yourself but rather on goals that your peers chose for you. The problem with that is that you may not really care about such goals and, as such, you are no longer living your own life. You are living the life that they want for you. How exciting is that?
In order for you to feel proud about who you are, you need to live to achieve the goals that you care about. You will only feel excited about pursuing the goals that you set for yourself and not the goals that your peers want for you. For example, if your parents want you to become a physician but you rather play piano, how can you be happy about being a physician? The road to becoming a physician is tough and so is the road to becoming a successful pianist. However, if your desire is to become a pianist, you will not only enjoy the tough road but you will demand that it be tougher because you want to become an above average pianist.
On the other hand, if you choose to pursue medicine, because that is what your parents want you to do, you will feel miserable about every challenge that you will encounter pursuing medicine. You don’t really want the challenge. You just want to get it over with. Thus, you will begin to feel like you failed yourself, not because you hate medical school but because you did not have the guts to take control of your own destiny. You no longer have a sense of direction.
In essence, finding the key to happiness can sometimes be challenging. However, a way to experience unhappiness can be as simple as giving up your dreams to live a life hat your peers chose for you.