June 10, 2014
In my last post I asked you to at least try not to be critical of yourself or of anyone for 7 days. It is hard, for some people, not to criticize themselves or someone else on a daily basis. Dealing with criticism can be very difficult and there is no doubt that criticism can also be helpful. By criticizing government, you can improve how government works. By criticizing a company it can improve its products. By criticizing a person you can improve his or her behavior or abilities. However, when we direct that criticism to ourselves it becomes destructive and there is no use for it. For example, when you make a mistake, and you say to yourself, “I am such an idiot!” you are not appreciating yourself for who you are. The mistake that you made may have been idiotic, in nature, but you are more than a mistake and, thus, the mistake should not be a reflection of who you are.
As a person you always have qualities that are positive. Rather than saying to yourself, I am an idiot; you should instead say that what you did was idiotic. By simply modifying your thoughts you can then leave room to appreciate yourself for who you are. Only when you do that can your self-esteem grow. The same principle applies when criticizing another person. For example, when you call another person an idiot, you are not being fair. A person may do idiotic mistakes but that does not mean that he or she do not have any positive qualities. It is best to point out the good qualities that a person has and ask them to stop doing idiotic things. This is called constructive criticism. This is how a person can feel appreciated for who he is and improve his or her behavior or abilities.