January 1, 2014
There is no question that talking with friends about your problems can be helpful. However, it is also true that by talking about your problems with friends can also bring you down. This is a complicated dilemma that you need to consider before you open up about your feelings. If you don’t, you could end up feeling down for a very long time and may start feeling that you want to hurt yourself.
Remember, when you feel like hurting yourself what you are doing is turning your anger against yourself. You essentially want to punish yourself for not being able to get out of the rot. You are just tired of having to be the one who needs to open up about your feelings and perhaps be the one who bring your friend’s (or all friends) mood down as well.
You may also feel angry about realizing that you are not as out of the woods as you thought you were. On the other hand, by talking to your friend (or friends) you may have discovered issues that you did not know were pulling you down so much. Thus, you may feel angry about the fact that there does not seem to be an end to the number of issues that manage to bring you down.
However, as I mention in my book, you must find a way to stop turning your anger against yourself. It is okay to feel angry but it is important to feel angry about anything but you. You must cherish the fact that you are nothing but a spec in the entire universe. Think about how big our universe is and here we are in planet earth, which itself is another spec in the universe, dealing with emotions that perhaps no one else in the entire universe can experience. The fact that we exist and that we can experience emotions, such as depressed moods or happy moments is a mystery.
We are the only ones in this entire planet that have the ability to rationalize things and feel good or bad about what we experience on our daily lives. Thus, why end it? Be proud of the fact that if anyone should deal with feelings of depression it is you who should deal with it because you prefer it be you the one to do it and not loved ones or anyone else. After all, you need that to feel a sense of purpose. You are also the one who can handle it and who wants to solve the mystery of sadness because sadness is necessary for us to be able to experience feelings of happiness. If you do not believe this, try to define happiness without alluding to sadness.
Next time you decide to talk to your friends about your problems, don’t feel like the victim who can’t find his or her way out. Feel like you are on a mission to solve a mystery no one else could solve and you just want your friends to help you find the missing piece of your puzzle. Celebrate every time you discover something new that brings you down because that means you are getting closer to solve this mystery that captivates you. After all, it is you who can solve it. By solving it you will be able to help others find their way out and you will be able to celebrate that moment like no one else can.